he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
