I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
