I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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