Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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