real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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