I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
