hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize