I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize