I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
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I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
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I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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