Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it's like iHOP with fire
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
