Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize