my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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