Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
