For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My life is pants optional.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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