What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
