A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
