bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
