Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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