i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
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apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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