What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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