k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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