Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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