I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I puked a lego.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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