Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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