Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
