that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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