Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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