im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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