Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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