You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have already put on my inside pants.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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