"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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