can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
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The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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