i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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