Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
