You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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