she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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