Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
