scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
