I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
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I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
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I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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