just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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