sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
