there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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