I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
