I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
