Too much gin, very little bucket
Farmville is her only friend.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
