We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
