remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
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You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
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If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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