ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
