Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
worst night to have a conscience
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
