he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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