Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
