OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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