I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Randomize
