At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
