i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
