he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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