I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
