you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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