Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
