you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
