I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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