Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize