We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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