Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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