fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
