It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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