So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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