ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
