I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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