Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
