the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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