there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize