Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o