I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
