i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
this is an emotional support booty call
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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